Finally after months Austin aka Danny in all my previous blogs, has decided to sever everything since I wasn’t strong enough to do so. Hey it took a lot out of me. The social media unfriending process. Sure it felt like someone dies when that happens but it’s better for me anyway. Not that what he was posting made sense anyway.
It sucks we were co dependent on each other the past few months. Now we are truly moving on. I’m angry and sad because I’m now seeking help to deal with this. Since if I don’t I won’t ever function normally. I’ve caught myself walking aimlessly. I almost got hit by a car when I wasn’t paying attention. Not good. My kids need me. I wish I never wasted so much time on him. That’s the past it’s done.
I woke up Sunday feeling worse than anything I called out from work I didn’t sleep much I just sat at home just needing to be away from a lot of people. My coworker Drew has the worst PMS almost everyday. Sometimes I wanna choke him. I wish he would bathe or get laid. He stinks and is uptight all the time. That I could do without!
I took to social media and dissected my friends. I deleted a handful of friends who were assholes. I’m not mad I let Carol go. Being sarcastic is one thing but she needs a lesson in manners. She makes fun of others while looking like that lady with the crazy make up from the Drew Carey show. I’m sure she would compare herself to Garcia from Criminal Minds, but that girl has more class than Carol.
I said goodbye to aunts that never would say anything to me. My dad seemed to be the black sheep and my Long Island cousins are the royalty I guess. Those kids can’t do any wrong. So be off. No need to be judged!
I tried to reconnect with this guy I has known ten years ago. I made the effort to see him. He basically took advantage of my state of mind. So I never respected him again after that. With all the public transportation we have since his car isn’t fixed and he claims no checks have gone through I said this guy isn’t set on anything with me regardless. So I deleted his number. Maybe it was a mistake to reconnect but lesson learned besides that was only about 3 weeks out of my life.
Lastly a friend since tenth grade. She made me feel like shit when I needed a friend. So since our friendship never recovered I decided that we grew apart. I grew up with reality and I know what’s real. I don’t need to be perfect and live in a world that’s not real.
It’s nice to know people care about me throughout this. I was honest to my kids and even my oldest is my biggest supporter. Everyday someone is checking in on me.
I always speak to the overnight pharmacist in my 24 hour cvs. So just a little while ago I told her she was right. When she has down time in the night shift I talk to her. She would always see Austin and I together a few months back I told her about the break up. I told her everything this morning. She told me he’s gonna come back, you can’t take him back. Remember what he told you when he tries. She’s pretty witty and funny and she’s dealt with something similar. Funny part is how she had me laughing. If you ask a man if they’re single and they can’t give you a direct answer she said she literally told one guy let me ask you again in the state of NY are you legally single.. Lol
So here’s to moving on. I know I will see Austin once in a while he drives the city bus and the new run passes my job hopefully he will pick a different one for the fall to make it better on us both.