Some days work just drags, then others it’s as busy as anything. Today Derrick was charging his phone so he walks in my area so many times. He’s a man attached to his phone. He’s in his late twenties. So I’m about to punch out for lunch when I say to him, “can I ask you a stupid question?” He replies, ” there’s no stupid questions just answers.”

So I explain this weekend. How the ex told me what his plans were, how he sent me over 10 pics this week. Of what he also had on Instagram and most likely Facebook. I was mostly puzzled by the actions. Derrick says, Your ex needs your approval. He needs to know there’s feelings there still. I say that anyone could like his pics on social media. We aren’t Facebook friends so technically I can’t but he wanted me to see what he had posted. So why can’t all your friends be your approval I’m thinking. Derrick says yea, men are crazy like that. He needs to know I’m still there and my approval matters, that he looks good etc. Knowing my ex this actually does make sense.

So yea I know do I need to respond to him. No. I do. I’m not over it. I don’t text him. I don’t even make the effort. He let’s it skip a day he will text me something random. I know I can do the no contact rule. Those feelings we had are deep. I know what I feel, what place I am at right now. I know I can’t go back to that. I do miss him though. Entertain me once a day. I haven’t seen him in person in a month. We’ve spoken by telephone.. I’ve gotten over the anguish of the hurt.. Just got so much on my plate that I’m not even taking the pics as anything. I just needed a mans point of view.

Oh kiddo.. You know I love you.. I wish you would have realized that. Oh well you know.. Just another hard lesson that I’ve learned. It’s what keeps me hanging tough.


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