So I know now that I don’t really need to be seeing a therapist. My relationships that I have been in, haven’t always been the greatest. I guess I always was questioning why things didn’t work out. Why did men stray or move on? I had the assumption that I guess they are all happy. When I tell friends well how come so and so look so happy. They tell me you don’t know how it is. Pictures you can smile in but who knows the real story behind it.
I was watching the movie Pretty Woman on Saturday. I love the movie. I always watch it whenever it is on. Don’t ask me why it has been on a lot lately. For the first time this line that Edward says ” It Cost me $10,000 in therapy to say that sentence. I was very angry with him.” It struck me. I am telling my therapist so much but am I getting anything out of it. I won’t knock the therapist the only change I see is that I am more of a positive person. The therapist never really judges me about my life. Lately I have missed a few weeks of going. The one week was the therapist would be away. Then I really didn’t feel like going the past two weeks.
So am I wasting money. Maybe. I do know that the last relationship I was in, well the problem was him and the other person he ended up being with even if it was short term. I still deal with him on some levels. I know it doesn’t help but I really don’t know how to totally break free from it. I know he needs more help than me. My friend tells me that he needs to hit rockbottom to see that he needs help. I do wonder if he could benefit from it. I really honestly have no idea what his demons are. Why they are so bad. I believe for me I will go a few more times and then just stop. I know I will be ok. I have dealt with relationships before and survived. I just have to have more faith in me.