Is it me?

Another day another dollar. Except where the hell is the dollar. Seems the more I work the less I see. Is it me? What the hell is going on here. I used to be happy go lucky. Yea I could get moody. Yes I am a female. I am also a Virgo. Heck I am everything my sign says I am. Picky you name it. But hell is it me? I  really truly can’t stand people anymore. The amount of common sense seems to have gone out the window. I want to just slap everyone. I think if I did I would still be a bit uptight.

I have no clue why I feel like this. Life isn’t that bad right now. Just nothing is making me happy. Customers at work just seem to irritate the shit out of me. Today one in particular. Can you help me? I was helping my customer who was in front of me. I said I will page you someone. So I do continue helping whom I was helping. The guy interjects well are they coming. Now I am fuming. Really dude. I paged someone I have no idea whose out there. I am here trying to help this guy out. Don’t you know what patience is? Then the annoying one wanders into my cubby hole and starts touching things everything while I am still helping my customer. I page again in front of him. Dude I got this guy already I am trying to help and you’re making this three minute process turn out to be an eternity. Finally when I said where I was is totally separate from the store does he leave. I was extremely irritated.

I can’t seem to find a reason to smile lately. I walk around with a chest full of pain. Everything is ok, so where the heck is this all coming from. I have or I feel like I have anxiety brewing up inside my chest. It is bad enough I stopped drinking my favorite soda Pepsi. I did a nice three month stint and here I am back at it. I’m jumpy and all that too. Fuck it has to be the soda. I could be outside and someone comes from behind me I get so scared. I know I hold the answers to whats bothering me but I can’t even narrow it down.

Is it the kids? Work? Him? Life? Lord if I know. I just want to be able to breathe be normal. But for some reason something just isn’t right. I can’t understand why. So its deeply getting to me. Don’t get me wrong I have been in my job for sixteen years I know how to be friendly and courteous towards people its just how people are now that makes me seriously shake my head. I think its bad enough today, every time I checked my Facebook feed no matter how many times someone said it was a hoax someone would post the status about the privacy feed. I felt smacking the shit out of these idiots. Look its plain and simple. Either delete your account or don’t share public information about yourself. How hard is it to do that?

Maybe it isn’t me, maybe I just need to stop tolerating the world. Like I actually give a hoot? No, honestly don’t care if no one reads this. I don’t care what anyone has to say on what I think or do. I try my damn hardest to do what I can in this world. I wish I had all the time in the world to do what I want to do.

 

fuck it.

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