Round and round it goes.. Where it stops nobody knows.. Do you think the odds ever change? Do you think you’re that one in a million shot..
No.. Not everyone is that lucky.. Playing with fire gets you burned. Remember what has been done in the dark will come out in the light.. Don’t expect to be handed a good life. Especially if the strife and mistreatment and misfortune you have caused others is of great proportions..
I wish that I had listened. I didn’t need another lesson to be learned. I feel stupid enough.
I’m tired of people telling me I will be fine and all that. It doesn’t ease the hurt. None of those things do.
This is how I feel.
Fuck it all.
I don’t care how tacky or childish this is.. I’m hurt beyond anything.. So my final healing is going to be to let the anger out!
Guess I should of known by what type of women he picked..
Here’s the drugged up chick from the ghetto he met on the job.. She was before me by a year and a half. I feel sorry for his ex he had at the time. I’m leaving her out of it. She was just blindsided like me..
The asian girl, he claimed on social media of Course as happy anniversary 2 years.. June 18,2014. Mind you we broke up with 12/20/13! She ended up being psycho, married with a kid. Mr.player got played! Touché!!!!
Last but not least.. She fits in the middle of me and the one above.. This one is a prize. Skankarella and nasty.. Throwing her sexuality around in ways. If a man won’t take her she will try a girl.. Eh no problem in that but ewwww!! You guys can start a relationship if you like but if he screwed you while with me he will do it again.. Hood rats offer nothing!!
I couldn’t give a rats ass who sees this.. You ever feel your heart ripped to shreds..
Word of advice.. Beautiful girls are out of your league Mr P! You’re too intimidated by them. You aren’t confident. Always go for the underdogs and bad attitudes. One thing I wasn’t but I was nice.. But ugly is as ugly can get.. Ugly heart and soul..
Some people need a disclaimer!!!
If you have no intentions to be faithful then don’t catch feelings and get in a relationship. Stay that player for life!
If you can’t even say the word commitment and when someone asks you if you’re married or single, and the answer is single because your not married then your a total jerk!
If you think you’ll be blessed by a good man or woman after you screwed a good one over think again.. Karma is a bitch!
Why is it that we live in a world where the only time people want to talk to you is when they want something. Nothing else but their wants.
We live in a world where no one can talk like human beings. Feelings can’t be said. The word love is thrown around like a ball. But we walk around taking nude selfies for someone who we don’t even know. Something so intimate but given to a stranger.
We can’t say what’s going on or be true but getting with a chick for a cheap piece of ass is more worth it then someone who means the world to you.
Sure open up your zipper, open up your vagina. But don’t open your heart or mouth.
She asked what has she done. She got no answer. That’s it you got your answer. How hard is it to just say it? What is it? Is it another woman? What is it? Are you really going to continue to play games? How old are you?
The game continued. Days would pass. Then a quizzical text. She often would ignore the texts. He would bother her. Are you ok? No I’m not ok she replied. I’m depressed. I need my friend. I need you. How was I there for you she thought and when I need you where are you. He doesn’t reply. Like a wimpy boy he says nothing. She shakes her head. How her heart is aching for him. Just an answer. What are we? The last six months were hard but blissful. Fun and wild. Just like that it came to a halt. What why?
What happens? He said I’m getting my life in order. What does that mean. She’s been there before. When an everyday fun flirty text becomes cold, no feeling. It usually means you’ve been replaced. Just give me that she thought. We knew what we were doing. We knew it was a dangerous game. Feelings involved. We all knew it. He knew she was fragile. She feels it’s another woman he says it isn’t. He said that before why should she believe him?
Getting your life in order is a great thing. How do you push out the one person who never left your side. Oh you got what you wanted. Sick of the games. So sick. Just man up. Those balls of yours are there. Man up. Man up why can’t you be honest to a girl who helped you through it all. Sad. You know how her heart aches.
Oh gosh.. You poor girl. You poor girl with 700 thirsty or so guys ok facebook who would love to go out with you. You say they’re all the same. They give you the attention that you need but you complain how they can’t do anything for you.
Truth is ladies. Acting like a skank gets you certain men. If you are willing to send nudes, sext, etc be prepared to attract those men. Don’t whine online.
I can’t stand the girls who have to act like men. Use language to talk.
Sweetheart that isn’t attractive. There are reasons you are single.
First of all you got a record. Who wants a woman who can’t even act right and lands in jail. You got a habit. Weed? Grow the hell up. You don’t even have a career. You have kids but you aren’t raising them. What woman doesn’t raise their kids? If you aren’t a fit parent. You aren’t a fit person. Therefore please stop popping out more kids that end up in foster care.
Interesting enough how you are online if someone wanted you they won’t go online to get what you are getting for free. For the girl who sleeps with other ladies men.. When you get a guy of your own, don’t expect God will bless you with a good guy. What happened? Yup the girl who slept with mine, she got a man who did he wrong. He stole from her and sold her sons play station. Is it right. Can I say karma.
Call it what you will. It is what it is.
I just say stop crying about these people. Just look like a desperate fool anyway!
Yay 2015 is here. Blah blah. It’s another day. Another day I live. It’s cool. So why is my heart acting like it’s crazy. Lovely. It’s currently hurting. Maybe it’s indigestion? Maybe it’s an anxiety attack. Any thing you call it, I’ve dealt with it before. Sigh.
I made it a whole year in whatever this friendship/relationship I’m in. It doesn’t even have a name. Just a few days ago someone I work with noticed Austin and asked how we knew each other. That was like a comedy act. Both trying to find the words. Kinda sorta my ex.. La da.. Even his mom called me his girlfriend. Confusing.
So that’s not even what’s getting to me. Is it crazy I just want this kiss. A passionate sweet kiss.. I actually crave this kiss. I’m not going to ask I know it’s crazy. How can I feel about I want a kiss. It would be generic and awkward. That’s not what I want. I’m hoping he would do it. I know that’s not why my chest is killing me but it sure just makes me know those feelings are there.
I tell myself I can’t put my heart in this. Which is why I don’t sit him down and say what is this? What are we? I really can’t commit myself to him. I just am not ready to just say let’s give it a go. Oh feelings take you ass elsewhere! No heart no problem.. Can I do it?
I can write blogs and blogs about what I should do in life do I ever follow what I preach. No I don’t. I’m miserable. My fault. No need to put salt in my already opened wounds.
Could have been somewhere new by now. No here I am stuck in the same rut. Stealing my time from me because my hearts to kind. I hit the bottom last night. The chest pains, the body aches and headaches. Pain that I don’t need.
A whole year ago I should have walked away. I believe or had believed in signs and was telling myself that the reason I’m around is because of so and so. You know what you can lie to yourself numerous times. Can you convince yourself that it’s right? No you can’t even find it in your heart to see that you’re being treated like garbage.
I’ve given my time to someone to someone that has no love for me. I’m just easy, accessible. When he calls I jump. He has it easy. He doesn’t care.
Here I’ve worried about his feelings. Trying to walk on eggshells so worried about his grieving, yet my heart is continuously broken. I can give advice but yet he doesn’t care. I just wasted a whole year on what should have been doing things for me.
I told him he had wasted my time When he broke up with me. Now look whose wasting my time myself. Now look whose the one with egg on their face.
Dinner with the ex. She wanted to hang out. So they hung out. They spoke they talked. Lots of things new lots of things old. When are you going to marry him, he asks. She utters it should have been you!
Silence ensues. She knew when she had him, who he was. Now he’s so damn curious when she plans to marry the guy she’s been with for four years. What is she waiting for? Is she wanting what she had back or trying to see if it’s worth the risk?
He doesn’t say anything. He can’t even explain why he didn’t marry her. Like if she didn’t figure it out by now, it’s pointless! He isn’t the marrying man. He easily gets bored with women. Yet he shares his faults. He shares stories. Stories she doesn’t want to hear. No one cares about your new conquests. Wounds were obviously still there. Only closed temporarily. He reopened them.
He had to leave. He walked away. Busy again. Got friends to meet, people to see! Wait this is the one she wanted. He’s still running after all this time. Girl, you got a good man. Take a chance.