Tag Archives: ex

Don’t care.. Ugly side

I don’t care how tacky or childish this is.. I’m hurt beyond anything.. So my final healing is going to be to let the anger out!

Guess I should of known by what type of women he picked..

Here’s the drugged up chick from the ghetto he met on the job.. She was before me by a year and a half. I feel sorry for his ex he had at the time. I’m leaving her out of it. She was just blindsided like me..

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The asian girl, he claimed on social media of Course as happy anniversary 2 years.. June 18,2014. Mind you we broke up with 12/20/13! She ended up being psycho, married with a kid. Mr.player got played! Touché!!!!

Last but not least.. She fits in the middle of me and the one above.. This one is a prize. Skankarella and nasty.. Throwing her sexuality around in ways. If a man won’t take her she will try a girl.. Eh no problem in that but ewwww!! You guys can start a relationship if you like but if he screwed you while with me he will do it again.. Hood rats offer nothing!!

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I couldn’t give a rats ass who sees this.. You ever feel your heart ripped to shreds..

Word of advice.. Beautiful girls are out of your league Mr P! You’re too intimidated by them. You aren’t confident. Always go for the underdogs and bad attitudes. One thing I wasn’t but I was nice.. But ugly is as ugly can get.. Ugly heart and soul..

Thief in the night

He stole her heart the day she met him. She loved him when she looked into his eyes. She saw forever and comfort. She knew that he would be hers forever.

He did steal her hurt and left her wounded. Wound so badly opened that no amount of glue, stitches and even love could ever heal it. He blew her mind with lies and her soul the biggest hole in a place where her heart should be.

One year ago it was over. Like a thief in the night he ran. She was broken beyond repair. She mended her heart with memories and thoughts. Healing and taking time. She saw the their again. He had her heart. He knew how she felt. She was trapped. Her ever beating heart ached to be loved. She embraced him even with a hollow heart.

He wasn’t kind to her anymore. He only knew how to be sincere in a moments notice. She felt she had to be there or he would be lost. Her instincts told her this is where to be. He never cared what she thought. As long as he was taken care. Her heart was cracking and shattering. It can’t hold on. How can you break a heart that isn’t even while she thought? How can she detach herself from the one person she thought was her whole world.

He said be was busy last night. We all played that game. He www busy a lot when he played her heart. She knew her heart was hanging on with pieces. She told him how much her heart aches for him. Can’t do this anymore she whispered. She wipes the tears from her cheek.

It should be you

Dinner with the ex. She wanted to hang out. So they hung out. They spoke they talked. Lots of things new lots of things old. When are you going to marry him, he asks. She utters it should have been you!

Silence ensues. She knew when she had him, who he was. Now he’s so damn curious when she plans to marry the guy she’s been with for four years. What is she waiting for? Is she wanting what she had back or trying to see if it’s worth the risk?

He doesn’t say anything. He can’t even explain why he didn’t marry her. Like if she didn’t figure it out by now, it’s pointless! He isn’t the marrying man. He easily gets bored with women. Yet he shares his faults. He shares stories. Stories she doesn’t want to hear. No one cares about your new conquests. Wounds were obviously still there. Only closed temporarily. He reopened them.

He had to leave. He walked away. Busy again. Got friends to meet, people to see! Wait this is the one she wanted. He’s still running after all this time. Girl, you got a good man. Take a chance.

The asshole within

I talk to my friend that I’ve known since I was eleven. Explain what happened over the week. What she replied was blunt and made me feel like the biggest ass that ever lived.

“He gets something from u big time even if it’s not physical. He gets his ego fluffed. He gets to walk around thing the got all these women out there that just want to be with him whenever he snaps his fingers. U being around ensures he never gets depressed and lost with that feeling that hey, maybe I’m not good enough or I’m guna be alone forever”

“U have all these feelings.The sadness & loneliness and I don’t see him around supposing u. Instead he tells u fucked up things about a girl he is fucking to then fuck u mentally. Messed up”

“Take what I wrote w a grain of salt if u want. I’ve never been anything but on ur side & honest w u. I’m really upset about these decisions u made. I really hope u do what’s best for you. U are a smart, beautiful, responsible woman. U deserve more than what that uv got outta life so far. It’s not too late to make it right. U got the potential & u got the stuff. U got to stop letting those bad emotions just take over all the time”

I let him stay around in my life so it’s my fault. Why can’t break ups be about it’s over that’s it? I don’t call him or text or anything. He does but I do reply. Yes I miss the shit out of him. I’m lonely. My phone is silent all the time now. So I entertain him. My suffering is my fault. Why be cruel? I think I’m done with my life. It’s just a joke and I’m to blind to see the truth. All I do is attract men that leech onto me and play games knowing it’s over. Wait wait it’s because I let them. What fucking kind of human being can’t move on to the next broad and still playing games with their ex. There’s something wrong with me? No there’s something wrong with them too.

Fuck it.

Seriously?

When I tell Steven and Gina about what happened to Austin and I, what came out of their mouths was not what I expected!

Gina said yes it happened to her. Don’t feel bad. Her guy was living with the girlfriend. But would take Gina to moms home. Steven told me, that just happened Saturday night to my sister in law. Except the guy had two families
With both ladies.

I guess I’ve seen it on soap operas, tv shows but you never truly believe you will be the one involved in someone’s double life. I guess I got burnt, I got out unscathed. You hear of nasty bitter relationships like this that lead to violence.

Now I hope that my girls will avoid men like this for the future. Cross my fingers!

Woman to woman

I was just about to head to the mall when a text came thru.. I deleted his number but I knew it was Danny’s phone… This is what I received.

“From a woman to another woman I need to apologize to you. I thought you and Danny were broken up. Thank you for showing me the light bc I thought I was a special woman in his life but clearly I wasnt. You seem like a good woman and I know you and Danny have alot of memories and love for each other. You are special to him. You can have him back. Me and him are done. He doesn’t deserve me and doesn’t know how to be with someone like me.”

I didn’t reply I just looked at it. Wondering how she got his phone and go text that. I’m not going to spend my day dwelling on if he really sent it or did Lana actually send it. I just was floored!

Crazy!!

Could be worse

I’m here all sad at times and then I see how some couples who were married file for divorce. I read that Sherri Shepard’s husband wants full custody of the unborn child. That’s heart wrenching.

Also saw some girl friend of a friend. Yesterday was her birthday. So her ex husband proposed to his new girl on the same day. Dagger to the heart.

I don’t know what posses people to be so cruel. I guess compared to what I’m dealing with. That’s just simple.

Say what you want to say

You know what babe what we had in the beginning was every something that every girl dreams of. We took on the town and we did it all. You treated me and I didn’t abuse it. We put things together thats the way it should be. We were like the super couple always united as everything. You said I made you a better person. I taught you how to change to a better man and learn how to become financially independent. 
Instead when you were cheating, how could you keep your life style. To wine and dine others then just me. I took you places I had no business taking you. Money that I could have put towards a home, my kids education and mine. You took, took, took. But it never mattered to you as long as you had your cake and ate it too. 

Those sneakers that you wear. I am sure that Nike and all the celebs enjoy the money you pour into them. The PS3 I bought you. All things that get used less than I did. All the money you spent when you could have had it all too. You pick on me telling me I ain’t anything. What do you have. A room. You make almost six figures and you rent a room with a roommate. Your best friend just smacked his kids mother and did time in jail and you wanted to bail him out. Yet you tell me I don’t progress. I am expected to be somewhere so high but those you know could be the worst of all but you accept them.

In my eyes I tried in vain to show you how I tried. When you put me against the one person I could not compete against. Theres your standards now. How can you be one way and then another. You may want the Wall Street woman but living the Ghetto life will not intertwine together. So that yacht you want when you retire looks more like a dinghy to me in the Hudson..

Yea I am hurt but I didn’t change my ways or who I was. I was never a person to judge. You chose your words. You make your bed. You think its funny disrespecting me today. I may still have tears left to shed. I know at least the personal hell I am going thru that you’re hiding behind yours.