I wish that I had listened. I didn’t need another lesson to be learned. I feel stupid enough.
I’m tired of people telling me I will be fine and all that. It doesn’t ease the hurt. None of those things do.
This is how I feel.
Fuck it all.
I woke up feeling a bit not myself. Tired to say the least. Not mopey I’m glad. Off to work I got myself together. Plugged in the straightener. My phone buzzed. Oh yes look whose texting me none other than the ex. I had gotten texts at one in the morning which I chose to ignore.
So I chose to say what?! Miss paranoia now has him thinking I’m stalking her. Dude. I work night I have my kids I have no time to go stalk. Someone had issues. The same girl who text me from his phone in June and then tells him I told her xyz! I’m like serious? This girl has hacks in Verizon too. A little too nut case for me.
So yes after my friends harsh messages to me. I took to telling him to fuck off. Grow up. I’m tired of the games. I’ve never seen a man whine over a piece of ass so much. I pretty much deaded it with serious consequences attached to it. He owes me money. He said how can I pay you back? I told him to never call me again. He said write you a letter. No idiot it’s called here my bank account number make a deposit. Got it? Oh but your my friend until god forbid one of us leaves this earth. Dude what was in that take out she’s feeding you? Friends don’t act like douche bags.
Well I ended it with you will be alone and he agreed. Shameful as it seems as he kept mentioning her and when I mention being alone he doesn’t even try to interject they’re will be a future for them. Signed sealed delivered. Message sent. Boom. He says he will have friends. Friends. That you will have less and less of.
I walked away unscathed. I dodged a bullet. I’m standing tall and not crying. You have shown me your true colors. I accept them. I can’t say how much of me is healed and what isn’t but it’s certainly better than it was 8 months ago. Tomorrow is September. My birthday is coming. I look forward for an awesome birthday. No one not even him will ruin it.
I don’t feel the pain or burden it’s starting to show and fade. I can breathe. Once again.
Grow the hell up.. If you are simply asked a question don’t lose your manly balls by answering like a pussy. I asked a damn question for something I really have to find an answer to, then I get back an asshole answer.
Asshole answer: I don’t know about stuff like that remember I’m single with no kids I do single activities.
Seriously I didn’t mention you, your dating status and what your doing. Like grow the hell up. Putting your insecurities out there because of some piece of shit loser female. I’m like it was just like you asking me if they were shutting down the boulevard yesterday. Like totally take your ass out your head. Shoot I already know how it feels to lose everything and be sad over a break up but to see a once confident person, act like he doesn’t have balls. Geez. Makes me wonder.
So if single activities means killing your once non alcoholic liver enjoy. Drinking won’t bring back your supposed joys. It’s a slow death sentence. Your choices buddy!
At a certain age we become independent. We leave home. We have jobs. We are suppose to get married and have kids. Alright that is the world if that was how it was suppose to be. Lately it is now a world where Grandma and Grandpa are raising grandkids. No one is cutting the umbilical cord. Now this works if it helps the other person out. Some people just don’t want to leave home and gain independence. That bond to mom and pop just there.
There are adults who can not maintain a job. They are always late and take time off often. Most often they get fired. In the case where that is not and you can keep you job kudos to you. It’s a part of saying hey I am this adult. Now if you are still living with mom and dad and your job pays you enough to move make a decision. Do I save it to rent me a place or do I save it and buy me a place. What is better than being on your own and having something you can call your own. Walk around naked too, you know?
So the village idiot decides to spam my phone with stupid texts last night. He drives people from one end of the city to another. He tells me that the fame and the money made him into a villain. Fame? Uh serious I know that the fumes from the carbon dioxide can be a lot but you are not a celebrity. The only thing some women see when they board is hey he makes decent money. Fame? Really. He says he was the mother fucking man! Yea. So this is a man who can keep a job but can’t pay bills on time. Dear village idiot, you are right you will be alone the rest of your life. You can’t be the “virgin” you say you want to be. We all know that movie? He spent too much of his free time hoeing himself out. It gave him confidence and made him lose weight he said. I was like why am I even reading this.
He had texted me earlier in the day, he wants to look at his credit report. After the insane texts I got last night figure that out yourself. Oh if Lana is still talking go ahead ask her. He wants to be independent but you rely on women. I am surprised that he can wipe his butt. The best part of last night I didn’t shed one tear! Yay! Score one for me! His idiotic ways just makes me know that I don’t need someone who will always be making excuses. Hey for a while there you had two women who were well off wanting you. The more shit you spew out of your mouth, the sicker they become. I don’t think it will make him do a whole turn around and change. He might still whore himself out but he will be lonely. There isn’t going to be someone like me to take his texts. All that is left is the ones who want money and nothing more. The only other thing he will meet the wrong women who won’t play these games and might seriously be crazy in the head.
I told him earlier in the day yesterday if you had enough discipline to maintain a job and know that you can’t be late or lose it you can find that sort of discipline in other aspects of your life.
Word to the wise, keep going on the way you are going you will end up with some sexually transmitted disease and maybe even have a death sentence on you like that. Not caring for the emotional hurt you put on others means you have a problem. I am not sure what problem that is. Don’t expect shit to just fall in your lap. Just as things come easily, they can also be easily taken away.