Opening up

I was shy and quiet as early as I can recall. I don’t know why that’s something I can’t explain. It’s just who I was. Luckily I managed to make friends and have relationships.

Growing up though I was 22 months younger than my big sister. She is miss talkative and nosy and just is like a big pain in the butt. So I was always known ass Debbie’s little sister. We went to the same schools. Lucky for me middle school was only two years worth and we didn’t go at the same time. I was able to make friends. I skipped 8th grade and she got left back. I attended high school near my home, she opted for one in the city. Eventually she decided that school wasn’t for her so she came and entered our zone school. Not only were we once again together but now I was a grade ahead she and I were in the same grade. We had a lot of the same classes and teachers. She still was more vocal then I was.

We worked the same job. Cashiering at a local supermarket. We would both become bookkeepers. Still everyone knew Debbie and I as her sister. The quiet one. Eventually I would marry and have my children. My marriage didn’t last but I did everything first though I was younger. Eventually after my marriage soured, I applied for my current job. Over fifteen years ago. A place I’m still at now. I got the job. So there I became my own person. I’m not Debbie’s little sister. No one knows Debbie.

Being a mother and having kids I have to talk to parents and teachers doctors etc. I’ve slowly grown up since my teenage days. Still my twenties were hard. I didn’t know how to meet people or just talk to someone. Now I know better. I noticed yesterday I carried on a conversation with a vender for a half and hour. He was just staying there. I’m like wow. He was conversing back. I was smiling, laughing and joking. I enjoy talking to people. About random things. To know I’m not shy I feel great. Today on the way home I talked to the bus driver. Not trying to date him, lol just talking he was cool. I laughed a lot. I enjoy being this open person now.

I like being happy and I love to smile and laugh. I want to meet people. I don’t need a million friends. I just like being so carefree and not worried. Not shy. It’s different. Maybe this change will help me deal with the harsh pain of the past few years. Where if I was more opened and not so shy maybe I wouldn’t have worried or stayed in a bad relationship. I didn’t need to stay for what.

So hopefully I keep on smiling and laughing..