Overprotected

So the other day I went to Atlantic City. I saw George Lopez at the Borgota Hotel. He was extremely funny. So you just listen to what he’s saying and you know he’s right. He’s talking about parenting now and then. Back when I was kid in the 80’s things were different.

Now a days the kids don’t know anything. The parents shelter them way too much. Hey you can’t quote me on this but I’m sure the same amount of predators are out there as back then. We just didn’t know. I’m not saying throw your kids out to the wolves. You can’t expect a kid to learn anything if you’re going to hold their hand until they turn 18.

To me NYC is way better now than it was back then. Back then we would play outside and have fun. Make up games and in the early 90’s kids would take the milk cape and put clay in it and play skelly. Now kids can’t leave their iPhones down for a minute. It’s the internet babysitting the kids. I only own one computer and my kids get a limited amount of time on it. Yea it’s mine which means I get it when I want. Only my oldest has a phone he’s 19. My kids don’t but hey I can’t afford it anyway. It’s better that way.

Instead of parents being concerned at when the next happy hour is, get with your kid go outside have a day out with no devices. Show them how it was and how it is to travel. They have to learn eventually. They need to have values set in them. They need to know if a stranger approaches me to scream. Know your phone number. Most kids only know numbers because it’s in their phones. Now back then all the numbers we needed to know we memorized.

Teach your kids morals and values. Don’t let the tv and the reality shows and others raise your kids but also don’t baby them either. Know what age they should be doing what.

Neglectful parents

I wonder if it’s the chemicals in foods and in the air or it’s just people being plain ignorant and stupid. Over the past few months I’ve heard and seen way to much stuff that makes you want to slap the idiot doing it.

So I was at my job the other day talking to a coworker who was changing her outfit from one job to this. A lady comes in and puts her 6 year old in a stall. Leaves the door open a crack. She goes outside. Another woman walks in needing to use it badly I tell her no there’s a child in there. By this time my coworker is done. The mother comes in after 3 mins to check on her daughter.

My coworker and I leave since she was done. We go outside there’s a toddler in a carriage. The mother comes out, the same one who left her child alone in the stall. Then she goes back in. My coworker and I both say to ourselves what the heck?! She left her toddler whose just about one year old outside. We decided to stick around. Like who does this? Why can’t you take both kids in the bathroom. There is one huge handicap stall. We don’t have a family bathroom here. But it was a shame. The mother took five minutes to come out with her other child. Literally her child in the carriage could have been taken. Then she would blame the store saying “my baby, my baby!” If you can’t take care of your children properly don’t have any. Don’t take them out shopping. Kids will need to use the bathroom. Have a plan!

To the morons who think leaving a kid In a car is safe no it’s not. You take the child with you. Who cares if it’s for a second. They come with you! Children die from being trapped in a hot car. Car jackings happen, what it you went in a store and a freak accident, a random car comes out of no where and destroys your vehicle. All things that you can’t predict what will happen. It’s never safe. Think about your kids. Don’t be selfish.

Just my thoughts on..

I guess we all have our different opinions on working parents. Today someone told me of a woman and her situation. Who am I to judge. As a mother myself I feel ways about mothering my kids. If you plan to have a baby one day, then make sure you have a plan.

When you find out your having a child whether or not it be planned or unexpected then life will change. If you have a partner or going at it alone, you need a plan. Unless you have it good. Most cases the mother and father will work.

This story is about a woman, who is a paralegal. She has a child but is single. She chose to let the father raise the child and she has the child on the weekend. Her job let’s her out by six. I can’t understand if you can get daycare as a mother why not come home from work and raise your child. My children are by far the joy in my life. I don’t care if I come home and not get sleep it was worth no sleep.

I was told she is involved in art scrapbooking on certain days. Sometimes she volunteers. Then on other days she heads to the local watering hole with the coworkers. She chased her last man all over the place during the week to spend time with him. Why didn’t you come home and take your child out and read to the child.

I guess not everyone is made to parent. I know it’s my opinion but if there’s time in a day I can’t see why efforts can’t be made to be a mother. You created this life. It’s very very sad that a career and social standing are more important to the life you gave to this child.

Control your kids!

Control your damn kids!

I’m waiting to get my nails done and there’s a toddler walking around the place. The door to the place is wide open. The mother keeps calling Mya, Mya come here. Never comes to get her. Mya steps outside the salon. Does her mother get her? Nope! Mya takes her moms phone runs out the door places her phone on the ground. I make Mya come in this time with the phone.
Mya continues until about ten minutes later Tom shuts the door to the salon. Seriously this is NYC you know. A child could be snatched even worse walk out to the street it’s a busy boulevard the salon is on. Truly don’t get that shit.. Don’t you care about your kids enough to protect them. Sorry but I can pamper myself another time if that was the case!

Too busy

So I’m not doing well I feel like I’ve got no where to turn. I really need a friend. Everyone is busy. I hate the age of social media. Back a few years ago in 2007/2008 I was going through something similar. But my friends called me checked on me. Now these days. Everyone is too busy.

You can try to text someone and they don’t respond, call someone they don’t answer but the see them online with the green online light on Facebook! Ugh. You don’t know how many times I’ve tried to hit up anyone but I get. I’m driving right now. So I’m giving up.

So keeping all this bottled up is taking a toll on me. My mind is sad, it’s also not happy. Sometimes I go to bed hoping I don’t wake up. I think of my kids but right now my daughters autism situation is worsening. Believe me I’ve read the books and blogs of some. You know what everyone’s lives are different. I can’t take someone’s thoughts and expect a miracle. But it’s hard to hang in there. It’s hard to be patient.

It’s hard to watch your child lose them self. It’s hard as a parent to think there could have been preventable measures taken. It’s just so hard. No one seems to care that you’re crashing. I just want a shoulder to cry on. I just want to know someone can be there if I fall.

I really need a friend.

Father’s Day

I didn’t grow up with a father. Mine chose to leave. He raised his new wife’s kids. Today’s not about that. Happy Father’s Day to all those men who do care. Who bust their butts for their kids. If you have biological kids and aren’t with the kids mother be in that child’s life. Do the right thing. Don’t walk away. All children deserve to be loved. Don’t let a child grow up not feeling important.

To all those whose fathers passed on. I know it’s not easy. I could never condemn today. As I know if they were here now they would show the love.

Have a great Father’s Day to all the wonderful men. Even if you aren’t with us anymore.

Sorry to my own father.. I’m glad I’m here and have kids but if you only would have been there maybe things wouldn’t be so bad.

Waiting

I really hate that there’s not enough money funding space and places for people with autism and other disabilities like that. In order for proper steps to be taken to get placement when living at home is no longer possible it’s a waiting list. Right now my daughter doesn’t have that time.
Something has to give!

The endless question..

Oh hey so you have kids! Awesome.
Eh or so they say.

Meet a new person, explain you have kids. Tell me, and maybe it’s because I’m a female why does the man say after how many do you have, same father?

I’m a mom to multiples and what the hell does it matter. Same father hello. What are you insinuating? Am I taking it wrong. Hey I’ve met plenty of men too with kids. I don’t say, same mother?
Question shouldn’t be about the parentage of the kids. After all you’re getting to know me. If it’s fear about dealing with the ex because the kids will always have a father? If that’s the case don’t waste my time. I’ve seen plenty of men meet a good woman and help raise kids. The biological father wasn’t an issue.
Maybe it was a brain fart but if more than one kid makes you think more than one daddy, look at yourself. Watch what comes out of your mouth.
I don’t think I need to change my views. That shouldn’t be a question asked.

My thoughts on middle school

Sometimes I want to say to my kids classmates, keep your damn opinions to your damn selves and what not. For all my kids middle school has been the most heart wrenching of them all. Non stop bullying and so much stupid crap. I want to say what makes a child want to smack another child. I hated middle school. I was absent two weeks straight. I refused to go. It is a miracle I graduated and they let me skip a grade too. I was the quiet shy girl. I stayed away from the drama. I didn’t get picked on in middle school because I refused to get involved. I did have a few people that did befriend me. Even this big tall girl named Gisela she was like this big mouth and she was like a mother hen. A protector. That was pretty cool.

Now a days I have had it. I know there are some kids with mental issues. My son is having some kid annoy the crap out of him. I was like you are in high school. You have to speak up for yourself. I did it throughout elementary and middle school. Mommy can’t always be there to tell your side of the  story. The schools need to do something. You can’t just turn your head pretend it does not happen. It happens everywhere. I refuse to let my kid be a statistic in the world where bullying results into suicide.

 

This road..

I have a child with autism. She’s a teen. Ok so knock me if I don’t know the precise one. It’s not even about that. My daughters lived a rough life. Things were fine. We took family vacations and outings.
Puberty hits and mood swings become out of control. Her anger results in destroying clothing. Picture the Incredible Hulk then you can imagine how much clothing she goes thru. Handy me downs are welcomed. I’m right now at my wits end.
When she was diagnosed I refused to give medication. I don’t know if that was the right decision. About six years ago when puberty hit I asked a doctor about her moods and possible meds. He said she was quite calm compared to other kids.
Earlier this year a trigger and I can’t be to sure what it was set her off. It could have been school or change in the home life. Danny my ex was always around. He stopped coming around. I’m sure it all played a factor. She screamed and threw her respite workers phone. I have one good one and one lazy one. The lazy one let my daughter have her phone. Something set her off and she destroyed it. I came home from work in crisis. While I tried to figure out what to do my daughter struck me in the head several times.
I took her to the hospital. Of course it was late so this is NYC we were stuck waiting for hours. She was agitated. She struck me several more times in the head. They sedated her more than once and separated her as I seem to be a trigger. Eventually she was sent to a psych ward for 10 days where she was placed on medication. Small dose of abilify. She seemed ok for two weeks then it reared it’s ugly head. The meds weren’t working. Dosages increased at each doctor visit.

Until April where we did another stint in an ER psych hospital. I’m stressed I just can’t do this anymore. She’s on even stronger meds. All she wants to do is sleep. She now refuses to go school. She loved school so much. Now with school coming to an end I’m just lost. I’m tired of this. I’m a single mother. I know autism isn’t easy for her either but something has to give. Just how much more meds. Where are these “miracle cures” I’m so done. I
Want my sweet kid who loved school back. This is bullshit. Fuck the cards I’ve been handled how much can a human being take.
My child didn’t deserve autism, doesn’t deserve what she’s doing. Now I don’t know what to do. I don’t need CPS at my door. I can’t lose my job.
Really what more is there.